Quite a few years ago when I was a younger lass, I was part of a group of faculty who were taking a faculty candidate to dinner. The most senior faculty member had organized the dinner at a rather upscale restaurant which served Chinese cuisine. Being from Hong Kong himself, he ordered off-menu which was quite interesting for a girl from rural America.
Most of the food was quite good. Except for one dish to which I took an instant dislike: sea cucumber. Sea cucumber has a texture that generously could be referred to as gelatinous. I am not generous in my review of its texture. Mouthful of snot comes much closer to my memory. I was in quite a predicament. Here I was at a fancy dinner with “snot” on my plate. Argh!
But! I had lots of rice on my plate too! So I carefully and oh, so slyly, hid the sea cucumber under the rice. That approach worked until this same senior faculty member noticed my sea cucumber was gone, at which point he said, “oh have some more! It is quite good for your health.” And ladled a giant spoonful onto my plate!
I don’t exactly remember how I got out of that situation except I did NOT eat any more of the sea cucumber. One bite had been more than enough.
Taking care of what’s on my plate from a relational standpoint can be similar to this situation. I can hide things but then others think I’ve dealt with the issue successfully and add more of the same. I need to develop ways of moving things off my plate, dealing with issues, or not accepting things that don’t belong on my plate in the first place. Not everything I’m offered has to be accepted.
Lord give me wisdom and words.
Just Sayin' 