Interactions

Common accord, compromise, submission. Three different ways of interacting in a relationship. Common accord by definition means agreement. We can be in agreement from the get go, we can arrive at agreement by sharing facts, opinions, viewpoints, or we can seek and/or wait for agreement.

In compromise, we both give up something to find a way to move forward. Colloquial definition is that we move forward and no one is happy. Often what happens is we define what is critical, important, nice to have, and don’t really care. Best case my don’t cares are your criticals, and vice versa.

Submission is more difficult. We can submit to another’s desire or decision from several vantage points: their authority, respect, and fear being at least the major points. We can also submit out of apathy or because it is just easier.

All three approaches have positives and negatives. The difficulty is in exercising each in a healthy manner. As we examine why we are either in common accord or not, we should also examine whether we are instead seeking and expecting compromise or submission. Similarly, why is compromise necessary or submission given. We need to look at whether or not we are insisting we are trying to achieve common accord when in fact we are expecting compromise or submission. Compromise can be given grudgingly and resentfully rather than because we are really trying to find a path forward. When we submit because it is just easier, that may not be healthy. In all three, the most healthy approach occurs in an environment of trust.

Just as all three of these are part of our relationships with others, they are also part of our relationship with our Father God. Ideally we are in common accord with Him. We trust His heart and KNOW His heart in such a way that we can walk through the narrow gate. Compromise with the Father generally occurs when we only partially obey and don’t trust completely. He doesn’t compromise but we often try to do that through bargaining. Submission, we learn from Scripture, will either be willingly from a place of trust or unwillingly from a place of rebellion. We get to choose whether we trust the Father…or not.