Petulant praying. Yep, that’s a thing going on in my life right now.
I’ve really been struggling with a relationship, or sort of a relationship. The “other” involved has, and continues to, deeply hurt me and make me angry. I cannot walk away from them because of others. So I’ve been stuck.
Believe me I’ve tried praying about this. Mostly “dear Lord, smite them”. I’ve focused on the smiting Psalms and all the Old Testament passages related to enemies, foes, and calling on God for painful removal – painful for them just to be clear. This is already painful for me.
Then the whole “love your enemies” and “pray for those who wrong you” stuff rears its head. The invasion of the New Testament and the grace and mercy of the cross and resurrection.
Hence, Petulant Praying. My obedience is somewhat tinged with reluctance. Okay, actually a LOT of reluctance. And stomping of feet. Perhaps pouting. If I define “love your enemies” as seek God’s best for them, I can probably last out the 30 day challenge to pray for them.
And if this doesn’t change me, then I’m going back to the Smiting Prayers. Harrumph.
Just Sayin' 