One

The back story on this is a young woman, named Kate, who is struggling with depression/suicide.  I don’t know her but I know folks like her.  They are people walking next to you, waiting on your table, sitting in your classroom or your office.   And they not only feel invisible, their “voices” tell them that they deserve to be invisible.  Often there is someone or something that tells them their life is not worth anything – or that they just need to suck it up and stop being so whiny.  Sadly, it can be a parent, a teacher, a significant other.  And they don’t know how to get away from the “voices” and from those who either introduced and/or re-enforce the negative messages.

There are numerous reasons why someone ends up in the emotional morass of depression and/or suicide.  I don’t pretend to know what the causes may be for any one person.  But there are a few things I do know.

Things in the open have a chance to heal.  We all have imperfections.  There is no way to be perfect or to please everybody.  But when we hide there is no path forward to heal.  Things that are hidden fester.  Speaking aloud our fears and our hurts to a safe person is critical.

It is also important to speak aloud those areas where we have struggled.  Often the “voices” are saying, “You’re the only one like this.  Everyone has it all together and is worth something.  It’s just you.”  Which of course are lies.  The reality is NO ONE has it all together.  So when you are willing to be vulnerable about your own struggles, you help someone else quiet the “voices”.  As Three Dog Night told us years ago, “one is the loneliest number”.

You have the power to help someone heal.  And it is actually pretty easy.  I’m not talking about the really deep work that has to be done in counseling or with the aid of a professional.  I am talking about how we treat each other on a daily basis.  Maya Angelou got it right when she said that people do not remember what you said or what you did, but they remember how you made them feel.  So saying “please” and “thank you” are important. Looking someone in the eyes when you say those words.  Smiling.  Holding open a door.  Taking time for someone.  Encouraging.  Investing even a small amount.  Allowing someone space to shelter.

I’m not in anyway saying these things are going to alleviate someone’s depression and create a whole new world for them.  But little things can help refute some of the negative messages.  They can help create little cracks where light can enter into long hidden spaces.

We all know someone like Kate.  And we never know when we are encountering someone like Kate.  And sometimes we are Kate.

So to the Kate of the original posting, you are the Beloved of God, the “voices” are wrong.  Your life is worth living – we need you here.  Be courageous and remember you are not alone.  Proof?  Take a look at what your friend is doing for you and the response to her love for you.

And for everyone else?  Create space and actions for all of us Kates to enter and find a gentle hug that seeps through our bones and into our hearts.

Blessings.